


Back in Your Arms

by xMidnightsLullaby



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 17:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMidnightsLullaby/pseuds/xMidnightsLullaby
Summary: Half a year after returning to Japan, Ibe has asked Eiji to pick him up at the airport from his latest job. Eiji doesn't dare to say no, but he hates airports. They remember him too much about Ash, that he didn't come to say good-bye. That he didn't answer his letter. That nobody answered his letters. The whole gang seemed to have disappeared and Eiji wonders if they are still alive, if Ash is still alive. If only he had had the change to tell him about his feelings. But now it's too late. Eiji will never see him again, or will he?





	Back in Your Arms

_‚I really wonder why he wanted me to pick him up’,_ Eiji thought stepping out of the train. _‘He never wanted to be picked up before._ ’ Yesterday, Ibe had written him a message. The photographer was in South America to shoot for a report on the wild life there. It was already a month ago when he had asked Eiji to join him, but the young man had declined. He understood the gesture and was thankful that Ibe asked him, not because he needed an assistant, but to distract him. Since they had left New York more than half a year ago, Eiji was different. All the things he had seen and that had happened to him while they had been overseas had affected and changed him. In some way, it had helped to know what he wanted in his life, but at the same time, the thing, no, the person, he wanted the most was missing.

All these months, he had waited for a reply from Ash. Every day, he had waited for the mail to arrive, but not even once, the letter he whished for was delivered. Although he tried to lower his hopes, he still prayed that one of the letters in his mailbox was from Ash. Every time he picked the envelopes up, his heart started beating fast against his chest and his fingers trembled. Maybe, maybe one of them could be the one he had been waiting for. But this would never happen and Eiji knew that someday, the pain he felt when he realized that he would never receive an answer would kill him. Someday, he would reach a point when he couldn’t stand the stabs in his heart anymore.

Besides from Ash, nobody had written to him. He had written to Bones and Kong, he had even tried to call them, yet never had he gotten an answer. Of course, he had contacted Max to know if anything happened to them. Only thinking about what he had told him made his insides freeze and he was close to vomit. All of them, the whole gang, had disappeared. Nobody had seen them, nobody had heard from them. Nobody knew what had happened to them. It killed Eiji. It killed him not to know if his friends were safe or not. He hated the uncertainty of whether they were still alive or not. He detested that Ash appeared in his dreams every single night – waiting for him to come back, being caught by the police, dying.

Yet more than his dreams about Ash, Eiji hated how much he missed him. When he had gotten off the airplane, he had already felt that there was a void inside him. Soon, he had realized that it was the blond boy that caused the constant pain in his heart. He had believed that he had just to get used to a boring life where he didn’t have to fear for his life every day. Still, he couldn’t explain why he woke up every morning with his heart feeling like a stone. Why his heart splintered into small pieced, every time he saw somebody who looked like his friend. At some point, he had stopped looking at the few photos that existed of their time together, because he started to cry after a few seconds. He missed everything about Ash. He missed their fights, their quarrels. He missed having breakfast with him and to know that he was sleeping in the bed next to his own. It had been hard to come back to a normal, quiet life in Japan, but it had been even harder to get used to the ghost of Ash that was hunting him every time of the day.

The only thing that had been good about his trip to America was, that Eiji finally knew what to do with his life. No, it wasn’t true. There had been other good things as well. Meeting Ash, for example, had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, but Eiji wished it wouldn’t hurt so much. Being back in Japan, he had decided that he wanted to work with troublesome children. Children who had no home and no family. Children who were hit or abused. He wanted to help them to a better life. If only he could have done the same for Ash. He wished to show them that somewhere  people existed who liked them, who loved them. Like Eiji loved Ash.

It had taken some time for him to understand the true nature of his feelings. Surely, he had liked him more than anyone else before. He had been the first person Eiji wanted to protect so much, he would sacrifice himself for. For someone who had never experienced love before, it had felt like a deep friendship. Sometimes, he had thought of Ash as a brother. But there had been something more. Something that made his heart cramp when he remembered Ash’s hugs, when he recalled how his skin felt like. Eiji had noted that he was missing the times the most, when he had been close to Ash. When he had fallen asleep next to him. When Ash had rested his head on his lap. If only he had known about his feelings when he had been with Ash. Would it have changed something about the way he felt now? It probably would hurt a lot more and yet, Eiji wished that he could kiss Ash again. Just one more time. One time, when it wasn’t for a trick, but to convey his true feelings.

When he stood in front of the airport, Eiji’s stomach tensed. Another reason why he had declined Ibe’s offer was that he never wanted to see an airport in his life again. It only brought back feelings, he already had a hard time to keep inside when he was at home. Just standing here, remembering how it had crushed him to realized that Ash wouldn’t come to say goodbye, made him thing twice if he should step inside. The whole flight home, he had thought about his friend and why he had decided to stay away from him. Surely, he must have had his reasons and Eiji respected that, but he couldn’t deny that it had hurt him a lot. He just hoped he would never be force to get on a plane again.

With a deep breath he walked through the automatic doors. Checking Ibe’s message again, he searched the way to the right arrival gate. He still had some time left until the plane was supposed to arrive, not including the time, Ibe needed to pass the border control and to grab his luggage. Eiji thought about sitting down, but he was too restless. Walking up and down the floors, he looked outside the huge window. The sun was already setting, colouring the sky in beautiful tones of red, orange and yellow. The last rays of light were reflected by the planes on the ground waiting to take off for their next adventure. Maybe he should leave his pain behind and go somewhere else. Start a new life. A life were Ash was nothing more than a faint memory. Could he ever forget about Ash? Could he ever let the small hope go that told him that he was still alive?

 

Eiji had been so lost in is thoughts and memories, he hadn’t noticed how time has passed. He had even forgotten where he was, when somebody hugged him from behind, wrapping their arms tightly. Shocked at first, Eiji tried to free himself from the tight grip. The person behind him, however, pulled him even closer and rested their head on his shoulders. It wasn’t until he the stranger whispered something that Eiji stopped resisting.

“Hey.” The voice in his ear made his heart stop beating. His whole body stopped working. His mind was empty, only one thought popping up when he recognized the voice. _‘It can’t be. No… I must be dreaming. This can’t be true. He can’t…_ ’ The arms around him loosened their grip and allowed him to turn around.

There he was. Standing in front of him like all these months hadn’t happened. Thousands of questions filled Eiji’s head. Why was he here? Why hadn’t he answered his letters? Why hadn’t he contacted him? Where was Ibe? What had happened to him? What had he done the whole time? His lips, however, weren’t able to form any words. His whole body was trembling, completely out of control. Maybe he should have been mad at Ash, maybe he should have confronted him at first. But nothing of the past was important anymore. It didn’t matter if Ash had hurt him by leaving him in the dark. The only thing that was important was that he was here. That he was alive. That he came back to Eiji. Tears formed in his eyes and his legs were shaking so much, they wouldn’t support him for much longer.

“Eiji…?”

Ash’s look was worryingly, even unsure. Yet before he could say anything more, Eiji threw himself in the other’s arms, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. Ash returned his tight hug, pressing him to his body. His hand was softly caressing Eiji’s hair, calming him down until the tears stopped coming up.

“You’re here,” Eiji’s voice was silent and muffled by Ash’s coat. “You’re alive and you’re here. You are really here.” It felt like a miracle. This couldn’t be real. It must be a dream, the most beautiful, most realistic dream he had ever had. Ash let his hands wander from his hair to his face, taking a step back to cup it in his hands.

“I’m here, Eiji. I took me way too long, but I’m finally here. I’m sorry for making you wait.” He smiled and the sparkle in his eyes made Eiji’s heart skip a beat.

“What took you so long?” He tried to sound a little pissed off, but all that came out sounded pathetic. “Why didn’t you write to me? Why didn’t you call me? I thought you were dead.”

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted to do this to you. I never wanted you to worry about me. When I got your letter, I regretted not saying goodbye to you. I regretted not leaving New York with you. I wanted to run to you, but I was attacked by Lao.”

Eiji wanted to check if he was fine, but Ash stopped him.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine now. I don’t want to lie to you, it looked really bad. I was pretty lucky to survive this. Must have had a good guardian angel.” He caressed Eiji’s cheek. “While I was recovering, I forced everyone to keep silent. I didn’t want to worry you, nor did I want you to come back to New York. I would have loved to see you, to have you close to me while I had to stay in bed, but I didn’t want to put you in any more danger. Yet, I thought about you every day. I was only able to recover so fast, because I thought of you. Seeing you again was the only hope that kept me alive. I realized that if I wanted to be with you, I had to leave New York for good. The last months, the others and I lived in the underground to settle everything. I needed to take care that the people I’m owing my life would have a future without me. It took a lot more time than I expected and I hated to be separated from you every single day. I knew that I must have hurt you a lot, not answering you, not telling you anything. I was so afraid that you have come to hate me, that you wouldn’t want to see me. I asked Ibe to help me and hell, he was mad at me. He shouted at me for half an hour before he agreed to make you come here.”

All the things Ash had said made sense and still, Eiji wasn’t able to process them. They would need to talk a lot, but now wasn’t the time to do so.

“I could never hate you, Ash. I…” Eiji hesitated. Should he really tell Ash? What if he didn’t return his feelings? But if he wouldn’t tell him now, he would never. “I love you.”

The other boy was looking at him in astonishment. He needed a few moments to react, but finally a beautiful, liberated smile formed on his lips.

“Stupid. I wanted to tell you first.” He bend down until their foreheads touched. He looked into Eiji’s eyes and his expression was more earnest than Eiji had ever seen him before. “I love you, too.”

Then, he pulled Eiji closer and their lips finally touched. A warm, silky feeling rushed trough his body, filled him with joy and instantly mended all the wounds the separation from and the worries about Ash had left. Just now, he was sure that Ash was really in Japan. That he had left everything behind. That he was finally free – just to be with Eiji.


End file.
